did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
