sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize