i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
