We should be called the Road Head Warriors
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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