I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
