It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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