new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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