therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
