Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
