So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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