All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
