Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
