I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
