I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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