He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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