Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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