guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize