I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
