We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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