i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
