oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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