Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize