lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
