The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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