So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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