just tell him i said nine months
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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