Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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