lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize