shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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