I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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