come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
