i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
