my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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