so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
