i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
