He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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