she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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