Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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