Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
