VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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