i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
