omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
