I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
