great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
