if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
