I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
jump out the window naked night went bad
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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