life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
