went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The adults are the big ones right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
