how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
