I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Alive.
So much puke
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
