South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
