Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
