Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize