idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
