I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Rumble strips road head = magical
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize