I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
