i just had sex bonerless
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize