you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
