carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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