What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
