would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
