I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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