his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
