Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
