Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize