my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
