God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
