what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize