Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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