We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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