can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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